This is the second part to my Malaysia reflections—if you missed the first part where I talked about my time on Langkawi Island, check it out here.
I’ll be honest, I’ve been avoiding this part like my dog avoids eye contact when she knows she’s been bad, but I can only run from it for so long, so here we are.
My romantic relationship hasn’t been the same since I’ve been back from Malaysia, and I’m not sure if it will recover. If I’m being honest, it’s been rocky for a while before I went, but sometimes stepping away is the clarity we didn’t know we needed.
After spending four days on Langkawi, scooting around on my own and sinking into my true adventurous spirit and my own energy, I hopped on a plane to Kuala Lumpur and checked into my hotel.
I had no idea what was to come, but I sensed my life was about to change forever.
On the way to the city centre, I was messaging my online friend
as she was coordinating a meeting time for us to join forces at my hotel with a couple of her friends, who I’ve also never met. I was nervous and excited for what was to come.Meeting new people always gives me a smidge of anxiety—I’m awkward, and I don’t like wasting my energy with people I don’t get along with. I’d rather stay home and hug my dog while watching Netflix and eating snacks, than pretend to be interested in weather talk.
I knew this wouldn’t be weather talk, but the elusive unknown is always a bit anxiety inducing, nonetheless.
After a quick rest in my room, I checked my phone to see Gwen’s message, “Walking from the station now!”
I speed walked down the narrow hallway (channelling my inner mall walker), down the stairs, and opened the heavy fire door to the café on the ground floor. I saw bright and shiny Gwen standing with her back to me, chatting with her friend,
. I instantly knew it was Gwen, you can feel her energy a mile away!I walked up behind her and she turned around with a flower in her hands. Gwen got me a flower, she said, “to brighten up my room.” This may have been the first time I’ve felt truly seen by someone I’ve never met—the big, bright yellow flower, like the sun, is a physical embodiment of the Leo energy of the zodiac if I’ve ever seen one—she saw me. This meant more to me than she probably knows… Now you know 🤪
The three of us sat in the café, chatted, and laughed for what felt like five minutes and a lifetime all at once. We talked about astrology, life, and laughed about the fact that two Libra moons couldn’t make a decision to save our lives.
Once we decided (or rather, let Gwen lead us), we took a walk around town, met Gwen’s best friend, and went to eat dinner at a lovely Sri Lankan restaurant. The local Capricorn chose the restaurant, and her excellent standards did not disappoint!
I’ve never talked so effortlessly with people I’d just met. It felt like we’ve known each other for lifetimes and I had finally come home—whether with them, or within myself, I’m not sure. But what I knew is it felt like home.
Small talk is exhausting, and this was not that.
It was a mix of the energy of everyone, the openness, the willingness to share and hold space, and the lighthearted astro jokes to allow us to relate on another level and poke fun. This was something I’ve never experienced all at once, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share space with these beautiful humans.
We talked about joy, pain, the government, culture, travel, and life in general with such ease. No topic was off limits, and the concept of time disappeared.
After the two Capricorns left us to our own devices,
and I connected on our Cancer rising quirks, and this IG reel was born:If you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend it 😆 maybe I’m biased. I think we’re pretty funny 🤷♀️ and it seemed to resonate with many other Cancers in the room.
May I remind you, I was on my Venus MC line1, and a lot of eyes saw this reel. It’s just one more piece of evidence that shows how the energy can change when you travel to a new place.2
We started filming the reel at 9:30pm, less than six short hours after meeting. Our kindred spirits found each other, that’s for sure. We laughed, cried, and related on a level that I’ve been craving for way too long.
I was actually supposed to travel to Melaka that weekend, but I cancelled my trip in order to spend more time with the three newest additions to my life—I didn’t even have to think twice.
The next few days were some of the best of my recent life. We celebrated Krissy’s birthday with lunch and a card and gave it to her at the perfect opportunity after she mentioned she “throws cards out right after she reads them,” that was a good laugh.
Maybe there’s still things to learn about each other…
We connected on levels I didn’t know were possible so quickly, which had me questioning everything about my current reality in my own relationships outside of these new ones.
I’ve been skating on the surface of my partnership, pulling away because of the lack of depth, creating exactly the situation I don’t want to be in. When I came back from my trip, it was even worse. My partner and I both felt it, we’ve been talking about it, and we still don’t know what’s next.
We’re now in the middle of the continuous conversation of the crossroads—should we try harder, or would we both be better off going our separate ways?
What does trying harder look like?
We agree that we’re unhappy, and now comes the hard part of deciding whether love is enough.
If I could go deeper in these relationships in one day than the one I’ve been in for almost two years, what does that mean?
I know every relationship doesn’t need to be deep, or fun, or *fill in the blank with your unrealistic expectation of what love needs to look like all the time. There are different types of relationships that fulfil different needs; no relationship can do it all.
This trip has me thinking more about what those needs are in my romantic and platonic relationships, and the non-negotiable qualities that I can no longer deny.
What are your non-negotiables in relationships? Let me know in the comments.
After five life-changing days in KL, I got home to Thailand and immediately wished I was back in Malaysia trying to escape the downpour of rain, buying a way overpriced umbrella about four minutes too late, like I had just two days before.
Krissy and I agreed in that moment, if we had’ve been alone in the rain it wouldn’t have been the same joyful experience. It was fun to be in a shitty situation with an amazing new friend.
These are the types of relationships I need.
The kind where you don’t even care about being soaking wet walking through a Malaysian mall trying to decide whether you’ll buy a whole new outfit or suffer through soggy pants.
The kind where you cry from laughing so hard.
The kind you can’t remember life before meeting, because what a boring life it was to not have them in your life before now.
The kind you know will be there when you need them because they genuinely care about your wellbeing.
The kind where you forget your phone is in your pocket because there’s no way you would break eye contact and risk missing out on a single word they say because every word speaks to your soul.
In four short days, these three women taught me more about relationships than I could’ve ever expected. They showed me what I want, what I deserve, and what is possible.
So thank you; Gwen, Krissy, and Sim, for showing me what love is, in a way that I haven’t experienced until meeting you.
Venus represents relationships and the MC (Midheaven) is the highest point in our chart, often representing our career. We were quite literally making a video via our relationship in relation to my career; or another way to look at it would be that this video has also allowed me to reach more people to connect with in my career. My natal Venus is in Leo, and those spotlight qualities were able to come out here, too. Leo is the actor, the creative, and often likes to be on camera.
Astrocartography is a branch of astrology that shows how different places in the world offer us a unique energetic experience depending on where we are, or who/what we connect with.
Kaitlyn, I am genuinely, wholly in tears. Just know that your presence has meant to me just as much as mine has meant to you. Thank you for seeing me, for mirroring my appreciation, for noticing all the little things I do, and most importantly, for sharing what this experience has meant to you. Thank you for your vulnerability. I don't know how or why the Universe brought us together from that fateful Level 3 weekend, but I know that this is only the beginning 🥹 I love you!!! 💗💝💞💋✨
that reel is pure delight! so is reading about this experience.
my mantra when I was moving on from a relationship that no longer served me "Bring me a Higher Love!" (ok, so it's a song by steve winwood.) You still have love there but you need the higher vibration path....